Multi-definitional 25 Jul 10 | 0 Comments
I went shopping with a friend lately, trying out different boutiques around town. And in one boutique, she pulled up a top and said, “I can totally see you wearing this!”
But the thing is, of all the things in that shop, that looked like something I’d be least likely to pick out (I especially didn’t like the color) … and if I were to wear it, it’s something I’d put on on days where I’m just feeling fat. LOL!
I suppose I’m a bit defensive of what I think defines my style. Lots of times when people say “oh this is so Kathy” they hit it on the nail, but then there are times when they pull something up that’s supposedly me, and it’s so off-base that I wonder why do you think that would be me?
It’s actually a very flattering thing when I feel like people get me. We’re all multi-dimensional, but when they understand at least one aspect of my personality and what I hold dear to my life, it makes me feel like they’re connected to me and my sensibilities. Like they understand why I think the way I do, or express myself in my way, or am how I am. But when a part of their definition of me is not-so-me, as in the case of this silly top, I feel like maybe you don’t get me as well as I thought you get me. … or maybe it was just a guess that happens to be wrong, and I’m reading too much into it.
This scenario makes me a little more cautious whenever I, personally say, “oh this is so you” or “trust me, you’ll like it” … cause who am I to say what your tastes would be or what things define what you are. And most of all, why should these things be definitions of what people are?
Just because I like cupcakes, doesn’t mean that every cupcake is “so me” or that I go gaga over every cupcake. Or, just because Apolo Ohno is involved in this TV special, or is endorsing that product doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m going to make all efforts be sure I watch it, or will go out and buy whatever he’s hocking.
I’m going to try to stop defining people by their interests, and make more of an effort to better understand what those interests are and WHY they are drawn to these things in the first place. And perhaps by doing so, I’ll get a better understanding of why they are they way they are and why they contribute to making my own life feel all the more whole. Every once in a while when I am for certain that something is “so you” I will say it … but will only say it sparingly and when I know that it is something that they would appreciate, and that they would appreciate my knowing it would appeal to them. Hopefully it’ll be a subtle way of saying, “I get you. This is something that you enjoy, but it isn’t the absolute definition of you.”
