The long walk

Because today is Valentines Day, I thought I’d share a dream that I had many, many years ago. There are a few dreams I’ve had in my life that I still remember, but this one must be my absolute favorite thus far. It must have been 2007 or 2008 when I had this dream.

I am copy / pasting this from a facebook conversation I had with a friend, with modifications

The dream starts off in a big, wide, fancy hall/corridor with all my female relatives there — they’re all dressed in cream lacy dresses and were standing in a line, holding various assortments of flowers. I ask what’s going on and they all laugh and say, “you’re getting married, silly!” Well, that’s a strange thing to say! Confused, yet excited, I ask “to whom?!” but they don’t answer. It’s suddenly time to properly line up to make the procession down the aisle.

Apparently, it is an outdoor wedding, and the line of women are waiting to make their way outside. It looks like it takes place on a field typically usually used as a soccer field (random location!) and in the background are white inflatable waving arm tube men, which seems like such an odd, odd choice to have at a wedding, but they actually looked nice in the distance! Just gracefully bobbing about in the background. The aisle is incredibly wide — probably about 20-, or 30- feet wide and is incredibly long, spanning the whole distance of a soccer field. And as it goes in dreams, the length of the soccer field is largely exaggerated, so it almost seemed to be miles long. The aisle is lined with a beautiful lace runner and white flower petals. My guests are sitting on the lawn (what awful seating!) and I begin to notice that this aisle is symbolic of a timeline, as people are seated “chronologically” based on when I know them in my life. As I’m walking down, I say hello to everyone and tell people who I haven’t seen in a while how much I miss them — I especially notice that the “aisle timeline” is lined with relationships passed … old boyfriends, old crushes … which might seem like a strange thing to have at your wedding, but in this scenario, it seemed to symbolize a mending of things from the past. I was ok with these gentlemen being there, in fact welcoming them there, and thanking them for being a part of the journey to where I’m ultimately going (to the alter, in this case). I’m happy they are there. I’m happy to see family and friends there. I say hello to as many people as I can and tell them that I can’t believe that this is happening and that I’m making my way to the man that I love. The music is John Mayer (haha, at the time that I had this dream, I was an incredibly huge JM fan. I still like his music, but not to the capacity that I did in my 20s).

As I’m walking, I still have no idea who is waiting for me up at the front. It seems to be taking a long time to make it up there. But I get this feeling — not so much the me-in-the-dream is feeling the feeling, but “real me” gets this feeling, this thought that says “yes, in your lifetime, Kathy. You will eventually find the one you are meant to share your life with, and you will fall in love and get married. But, of most of the women you know in your life, you will probably be the last this happens to, so be patient.” Strange thing to realize while you’re dreaming, and you’re “witnessing” your own wedding. But it seemed like an appropriate message, especially since I’m not married, or even close to it. And I often wonder if it actually will happen. So with those concerns living out in the real world, it was nice to hear/feel that sort of message from the dream world. I took solace in that. (I still do.)

About three-fourths of the way down the aisle, I can finally see a glimpse of my groom, and I realize who he is. I know I still need to walk down the aisle with the same pace as I had been doing, but it starts to be a huge challenge to have to continually wait to be with him. I’m excited because of who he is and what he’s grown to mean to me. I’m excited to start a new journey with him. I’m excited to spend the rest of my life with him.

It gets to the point where I simply cannot wait any longer and I start to run down the rest of the aisle. A mad dash! I can’t bare not to be next to him any longer. I madly run into his arms and we hug. It is absolutely the most meaningful embrace experience on the face of the planet! Cheeks pressed together. Arms tightly wrapped around one another. He has a big grin on his face. He wears glasses and has short, dark hair. He is the perfect height. I’m really happy. He’s really happy. I say, “it’s you! I’m so, so happy that it turns out to be you!” He doesn’t say anything. He’s too busy grinning in happiness.

That’s where I wake up.

They say that every person in your dream is someone you’ve seen in real life. When I had this dream, I did not recognize the groom. It’s funny to think that this dream had several people, and the one most important person in the dream is someone I didn’t know. I suppose that if you were to analyze the dream, it must mean that in real life I had yet to meet this man.

A few weeks ago, I shared this dream with a friend of mine that knows of my crush, and she jokingly laughed that maybe it’s him that was in the dream. Of course, I laughed, but oddly enough, he fits the description perfectly. I hadn’t met him when I had the dream (I would meet him 2–3 years later). He wears glasses. Has short, dark hair. He’s the best height for me. We’ve had meaningful embraces the past couple of times we’ve had a chance to see each other (my friend and I call them “bear hugs” because of how big and firm the hugs are). And I was happy when I realized that I am starting to have feelings for him. (Also, he’s a huge soccer fan, which ties in with the fact that this wedding took place on a soccer field.)

I’m not saying that it truly is him, or that we’d even get to that level. But it seems very interesting that there are these similarities.

And it is fun to dream about what’s to hopefully come.

In hopes of…
1. With it being Valentine’s Day, I couldn’t help but feel hopeful and gushy throughout the day. I am excited for the prospects of hope and invite whatever is bound to come.
2. Seeing my crush again. Not sure when it will happen, but hopefully sometime soon. I’m sure my cheeks blush at the thought!
3. More bear hugs. Please! More of them!

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